A funny story from the University of Washinton

I was going through Scribd.com just now, and found a funny story from the University of Washington. The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well…

Here is the “Bonus Question” on the exam: “Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?”
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa (a girlfriend of mine during my Freshman year) that, “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you”, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

He was the only student who received an A. This story isn’t just funny, but it made me think. I do spend some time to think about religious questions, and he has a quite interesting theory, which could be a lead argument in debates. Yay, I found a new way to piss of Christians…

Are we that different?

I found an interesting video on YouTube just now called “Stop the Clash of Civilization”. I believe that it’s rare we find such manifestos like this. This definitely had an impact on me, and I hope that it will on others, especially those the video are talking to. I must admit that I learned something about Middle Eastern culture, something I thought I already knew, so I’m thankful that somebody sits down and creates something like this.

Avaaz.org is a community of global citizens who take action on the major issues facing the world today. The aim of Avaaz.org is to ensure that the views and values of the world’s people shape global decisions. Avaaz.org members act for a more just and peaceful world and a globalisation with a human face. You can read more about the Avaaz organization here.

Actually, we do find many organizations that fights against poverty, war and such. And that is basically the problem. There are too many organizations. I believe that when we send millions of dollars to Africa, more than half are used on transport, workers, bribe and corruption, and if we have hundreds of organizations using a lot of money on these things, Africa ends up with nothing but hunger and poverty. If we emerged the organizations – and perhaps enforcing military to transport the money instead of paying bribe to terrorists and countries trying to take their share, the poverty has a much larger chance of stopping. Otherwise, I believe that sending millions of dollars to foreign countries doesn’t help much. Poor Africans has no education to spend the money properly, and sending them seeds is moronic too. They don’t actually plant the seeds, they eat them. So what are they going to do with coloured paper? Eat it? The only thing that actually worked was when China, many many years ago, sending workers down to make rail tracks and at the same time teaching the Natives how to be better farmers, but one time just wasn’t enough. We could have spend a billion dollars to teach hundreds of Africans how to farm properly, make schools and simply create a better environment instead of sending 100 billion dollars in cash. Denmark, my home country, once gathered a lot of money, and shipped every penny down there, and they were all used on AIDS medicine from USA. What’s up with that?

Stop the idiocracy, and start using your brain. You choose!

Conversation with God

Chris Battaglia had an interesting MSN Messenger conversation with God.

god says: oi
cbattaglia says: hey there
god says: lol
cbattaglia says: ?
god says: u know who i am?
cbattaglia says: sure. you’re the big cheese
god says: lmao, got that right
cbattaglia says: what’s up?
god says: nothing much. u?
cbattaglia says: same
god says: …so, got any questions for me?
cbattaglia says: i guess… is that why you’re talking to me?
god says: sure. lol
cbattaglia says: ok. well, i guess the biggest one right now would be: why are you talking to me?
god says: why not?
cbattaglia says: seems kind of random. i mean, i don’t even believe in you. usually you appear to people who already preach about you 24/7
god says: yeah… i’m kind of tired of those guys. they’re mostly brown-nosers and spin doctors, so i figured i’d try something different today
cbattaglia says: is that why you’re using MSN, instead of the preferred “visions” methods?
god says: how do you know this isn’t just a vision?
cbattaglia says: …touche, god.
god says: lol
cbattaglia says: but seriously, why me: an atheist? why not a Muslim or Buddhist or Hindu?
god says: y would i appear before them? i’m looking for a change here. they already believe in me
cbattaglia says: how so?
god says: at the core, all spiritual beliefs are the same. they’re about knowing deep down that there is something more out there, some sort of presence, and framework, guiding a universe that feels too complex to be random
cbattaglia says: i see, but they all believe different things…
god says: the core is the same, and that core is me. to some, i am more than one being. to others, i have more eyes or limbs. some even believe that i have no physically recognizable form. the interpretations may vary, but my existence is constant
cbattaglia says: ok, but if this is true, why all the fighting in hatred done in your name? it’s kind of pointless if they’re all fighting for the same side
god says: lol, don’t go pinning that on me. and yes, it’s completely pointless. the fact that they commit these atrocities in my name pisses me off to no end
cbattaglia says: then why don’t you stop it?
god says: because that’s not how i roll. i’m not the babysitter of earth, or any of the other planets. the reason i gave u guys free will was so that i wouldn’t have to hold ur hand all the time. i have a life too, y’know
cbattaglia says: ok, makes sense
cbattaglia says: wait… other planets? do those planets have life?
god says: of course! lmao y wouldn’t i put life on other planets? u guys aren’t my 1 special little project. and i must say, u aren’t the best of the bunch, either. not the worst, but…
cbattaglia says: hehe, i bet
god says: anyway, like i was saying, i don’t enjoy being attached to the causes of everyone who craves comfort, power, validation, etc, but i can’t really blame them. false security is the warmest blanket there is. i do hate it when i’m held responsible for nature’s stuff though. that shit is on autopilot. it just works with what it’s given
cbattaglia says: so gays didn’t cause you to make Katrina?
god says: lol no, and what’s with people attaching me to their views on gays? i have no problem with them. what i do have a problem with is my name being used to mask personal insecurities
cbattaglia says: doesn’t it say something in the bible about homosexuality being wrong?
god says: i didn’t write that thing. lol this is what i was talking about earlier: the spin doctors. i may be at the core of all spirituality, but everything that branches off of that isn’t from me
cbattaglia says: i see… so you don’t endorse any “holy” texts?
god says: lmao! NO! do u know how many times those things have been translated, interpreted and re-written to include or exclude certain passages??? i’m pretty sure there’s even a story out there about my son making a trip to Utah. it’s like a plot for a bad teen movie. i don’t even have a son. lol
cbattaglia says: wow. interesting. so jesus wasn’t yours?
god says: …no, and i won’t pay the child support, either. mary’s just trying to cash in on the lie
cbattaglia says: so all of this stuff that happens, everything done in your name, it’s all bullshit?
god says: well, i’ll be honest: no. i do enjoy screwing around with the brown-nosers a bit to see where they’ll take it. like, i’ll appear for some believer all important-sounding with a quest that really has no meaning, and sit back while the drama unfolds. it’s pretty funny
cbattaglia says: that’s a little petty for the almighty, no?
god says: hey, i get bored too. u guys r my tv. lol
god says: if u think that’s bad, u should see what i’ve done to other places…
cbattaglia says: i don’t think i want to know
god says: lol
cbattaglia says: one thing i would like to know, though, is what happens when we die
god says: u die
cbattaglia says: …and?
god says: that’s it
cbattaglia says: oh
god says: lol, don’t worry, reality is a tricky thing. u still technically live on in the hearts and minds of those who knew u, so u’re not completely gone, if u catch my drift
cbattaglia says: i think i do… sort of
god says: lol
god says: i g2g
cbattaglia says: ok, cool, but just so you know: i still don’t believe in you
god says: oh? why not?
cbattaglia says: because our conversation here proves you exist, yet (as referenced by Douglas Adams) you refused to ever do that, because “proof denies faith, and without faith, i am nothing.”
god says: oh, right… lol
*god has signed off

I find it interesting, because I learned from it. I’ve been quite decisive about the matter of god. I don’t believe in god, that’s simply my belief, but I don’t deny his existence. This made my believe a little bit more in it, because makes a lot more sense. Often we discuss the holy texts of any religion, and this simply denies that it hasn’t been written by God, which makes perfect sense to an agnostic and atheist like myself. He created a universe, and won’t touch it more than having a laugh by himself. Quite interesting. I hope that God contacts Chris again.