Will of the Heart

When I was 5 years old, I started in school. I wasn’t even the youngest in my class, second though. I think we were eight or nine pupils. And of course, I knew nobody. People joined into groups rapidly. My first best friend was Anders. Me and Anders became friends with two girls and a boy from 2nd grade, we were in what you may call preschool. Everybody got along very well, it was a special class. We weren’t fighting that much. In third grade, two classes was combined. Same level, however I left the school just before third grade, and joined another school. When I joined the new school, I knew a few people and it was nice to actually be able to talk to somebody. It’s hard to join a class, if you don’t know anyone at all. After 6 months, I got sick of it. I truly preferred my old school, I never liked the fighting. Everyday was like miniature war. Windows was broken, even boys cried. Nobody paid attention to the teacher. I was no more than 10 years old, and of course I joined the other boys in playing Gameboy in mathematics. Before I got along with the girls, seriously, in first grade I french-kissed with two third graders. So I returned to my old school in the end. Twice as big now. My old best friend found another, and the first day I walked into my new classroom, I never felt so sad and lonely. Everybody looked at me, nobody was happy to see me again. Even though, I got friends again. More friends… but they weren’t. It was just some guys I hung out with. I didn’t get along with the girls that much, I did talk little to my old friend, Lykke (Happy, Lucky), but it was never the same. Then my “best” friend left the school, and once again, I was all alone, and it didn’t help that I sucked at every single class. I couldn’t write, read, talk foreign languages such as English, couldn’t do mathematics.
I hung out with some guys, I played football with once, but it wasn’t friendship. Something that I’ve longed for. Around 5-6th grade, I joined a little group of nerds. Now, that was something. I wasn’t exactly good at anything among these people. It helped me, I started to get better when I was happy. In the end of the year, I was much better than anyone else. I could think! Mathematics didn’t help, but I do have an estimated IQ on 129 at the age of 15. I wasn’t the top of my class, but I had more potential than anybody else. I wasn’t good at school or grades, because our educational system wasn’t fit for me, but I was good at one thing. Learning. My learning capabilities came along with my happiness, I could talk to people, which I enjoyed. Those nerds, my best friends – true friends, saved me in those last three years. We were known as “The Nerds of the Round Table”, as we did sit around a round table every recess. Nanna joined too. She helped me alot too, she was my competition. The only reason I started working for my grades was because of her. I lived to earn hers respect.
Now, we’re going to split up. I’m joining 1c at a new school. 22 girls, 8 boys. I don’t know anybody, and it scares me. Is my heart strong enough to gain new friends? I never had that instinct, and it is rare for me to get friends. Will my grades and capabilities drop to unrecognisably? My confidence is… not a touchy subject, but hard. I have low self esteem, but high confidence? You may ask what the difference is, but I don’t got an answer for that one yet.

Is my will of the heart strong enough to beat the challenge of life? It’s like I’m a gladiator, forced to accept a challenge – and I think I’m close to loosing.

Are we that different?

I found an interesting video on YouTube just now called “Stop the Clash of Civilization”. I believe that it’s rare we find such manifestos like this. This definitely had an impact on me, and I hope that it will on others, especially those the video are talking to. I must admit that I learned something about Middle Eastern culture, something I thought I already knew, so I’m thankful that somebody sits down and creates something like this.

Avaaz.org is a community of global citizens who take action on the major issues facing the world today. The aim of Avaaz.org is to ensure that the views and values of the world’s people shape global decisions. Avaaz.org members act for a more just and peaceful world and a globalisation with a human face. You can read more about the Avaaz organization here.

Actually, we do find many organizations that fights against poverty, war and such. And that is basically the problem. There are too many organizations. I believe that when we send millions of dollars to Africa, more than half are used on transport, workers, bribe and corruption, and if we have hundreds of organizations using a lot of money on these things, Africa ends up with nothing but hunger and poverty. If we emerged the organizations – and perhaps enforcing military to transport the money instead of paying bribe to terrorists and countries trying to take their share, the poverty has a much larger chance of stopping. Otherwise, I believe that sending millions of dollars to foreign countries doesn’t help much. Poor Africans has no education to spend the money properly, and sending them seeds is moronic too. They don’t actually plant the seeds, they eat them. So what are they going to do with coloured paper? Eat it? The only thing that actually worked was when China, many many years ago, sending workers down to make rail tracks and at the same time teaching the Natives how to be better farmers, but one time just wasn’t enough. We could have spend a billion dollars to teach hundreds of Africans how to farm properly, make schools and simply create a better environment instead of sending 100 billion dollars in cash. Denmark, my home country, once gathered a lot of money, and shipped every penny down there, and they were all used on AIDS medicine from USA. What’s up with that?

Stop the idiocracy, and start using your brain. You choose!

Conversation with God

Chris Battaglia had an interesting MSN Messenger conversation with God.

god says: oi
cbattaglia says: hey there
god says: lol
cbattaglia says: ?
god says: u know who i am?
cbattaglia says: sure. you’re the big cheese
god says: lmao, got that right
cbattaglia says: what’s up?
god says: nothing much. u?
cbattaglia says: same
god says: …so, got any questions for me?
cbattaglia says: i guess… is that why you’re talking to me?
god says: sure. lol
cbattaglia says: ok. well, i guess the biggest one right now would be: why are you talking to me?
god says: why not?
cbattaglia says: seems kind of random. i mean, i don’t even believe in you. usually you appear to people who already preach about you 24/7
god says: yeah… i’m kind of tired of those guys. they’re mostly brown-nosers and spin doctors, so i figured i’d try something different today
cbattaglia says: is that why you’re using MSN, instead of the preferred “visions” methods?
god says: how do you know this isn’t just a vision?
cbattaglia says: …touche, god.
god says: lol
cbattaglia says: but seriously, why me: an atheist? why not a Muslim or Buddhist or Hindu?
god says: y would i appear before them? i’m looking for a change here. they already believe in me
cbattaglia says: how so?
god says: at the core, all spiritual beliefs are the same. they’re about knowing deep down that there is something more out there, some sort of presence, and framework, guiding a universe that feels too complex to be random
cbattaglia says: i see, but they all believe different things…
god says: the core is the same, and that core is me. to some, i am more than one being. to others, i have more eyes or limbs. some even believe that i have no physically recognizable form. the interpretations may vary, but my existence is constant
cbattaglia says: ok, but if this is true, why all the fighting in hatred done in your name? it’s kind of pointless if they’re all fighting for the same side
god says: lol, don’t go pinning that on me. and yes, it’s completely pointless. the fact that they commit these atrocities in my name pisses me off to no end
cbattaglia says: then why don’t you stop it?
god says: because that’s not how i roll. i’m not the babysitter of earth, or any of the other planets. the reason i gave u guys free will was so that i wouldn’t have to hold ur hand all the time. i have a life too, y’know
cbattaglia says: ok, makes sense
cbattaglia says: wait… other planets? do those planets have life?
god says: of course! lmao y wouldn’t i put life on other planets? u guys aren’t my 1 special little project. and i must say, u aren’t the best of the bunch, either. not the worst, but…
cbattaglia says: hehe, i bet
god says: anyway, like i was saying, i don’t enjoy being attached to the causes of everyone who craves comfort, power, validation, etc, but i can’t really blame them. false security is the warmest blanket there is. i do hate it when i’m held responsible for nature’s stuff though. that shit is on autopilot. it just works with what it’s given
cbattaglia says: so gays didn’t cause you to make Katrina?
god says: lol no, and what’s with people attaching me to their views on gays? i have no problem with them. what i do have a problem with is my name being used to mask personal insecurities
cbattaglia says: doesn’t it say something in the bible about homosexuality being wrong?
god says: i didn’t write that thing. lol this is what i was talking about earlier: the spin doctors. i may be at the core of all spirituality, but everything that branches off of that isn’t from me
cbattaglia says: i see… so you don’t endorse any “holy” texts?
god says: lmao! NO! do u know how many times those things have been translated, interpreted and re-written to include or exclude certain passages??? i’m pretty sure there’s even a story out there about my son making a trip to Utah. it’s like a plot for a bad teen movie. i don’t even have a son. lol
cbattaglia says: wow. interesting. so jesus wasn’t yours?
god says: …no, and i won’t pay the child support, either. mary’s just trying to cash in on the lie
cbattaglia says: so all of this stuff that happens, everything done in your name, it’s all bullshit?
god says: well, i’ll be honest: no. i do enjoy screwing around with the brown-nosers a bit to see where they’ll take it. like, i’ll appear for some believer all important-sounding with a quest that really has no meaning, and sit back while the drama unfolds. it’s pretty funny
cbattaglia says: that’s a little petty for the almighty, no?
god says: hey, i get bored too. u guys r my tv. lol
god says: if u think that’s bad, u should see what i’ve done to other places…
cbattaglia says: i don’t think i want to know
god says: lol
cbattaglia says: one thing i would like to know, though, is what happens when we die
god says: u die
cbattaglia says: …and?
god says: that’s it
cbattaglia says: oh
god says: lol, don’t worry, reality is a tricky thing. u still technically live on in the hearts and minds of those who knew u, so u’re not completely gone, if u catch my drift
cbattaglia says: i think i do… sort of
god says: lol
god says: i g2g
cbattaglia says: ok, cool, but just so you know: i still don’t believe in you
god says: oh? why not?
cbattaglia says: because our conversation here proves you exist, yet (as referenced by Douglas Adams) you refused to ever do that, because “proof denies faith, and without faith, i am nothing.”
god says: oh, right… lol
*god has signed off

I find it interesting, because I learned from it. I’ve been quite decisive about the matter of god. I don’t believe in god, that’s simply my belief, but I don’t deny his existence. This made my believe a little bit more in it, because makes a lot more sense. Often we discuss the holy texts of any religion, and this simply denies that it hasn’t been written by God, which makes perfect sense to an agnostic and atheist like myself. He created a universe, and won’t touch it more than having a laugh by himself. Quite interesting. I hope that God contacts Chris again.

Neostalgia

I just read an artical on Salon.com. Simon Reynold eager for the futuristic themes instead of nowadays boring asphalt roads, which he expresses in his artical, Back to the Future. It starts like this:

Science fiction promised us a tomorrowland of jetpacks, Smell-O-Vision and male mammary implants. So what happened? [...]

Read more here.
Yet I think Simon Reynold forgot something. Economy and progress in technology doesn’t fit together very well, which is why we create false technology in movies and books, and when the money is there we try to develop it. Yes, we put billions of cash into it, but it’s not enough. In Denmark, 90 % of the money we use for progress in science is for nanotechnology, yet the so-called scientists has a hard time even explaining what the hell it is! We hit a nudge, and it’s hard to overcome. We have so many new technologies which are hard to develop. It’s as we know everything, however when we do overcome that nudge, there’s a whole new world. It’s like when scientists discovered atoms, it was hard to understand.
Simon Reynold also forgot that not all technology are neither meant for the public nor is available to the public. When the auto mobile was produced, it was legally binding to have two guards walking in front of it, in case it should blow up!
I’ve seen a timetable that says in about ten years or so, we’ll know 3 times more than we do now, and not long thereafter 3 times more than we do then – and so on!

Super cool school

Steli Efti, the founder of Supercoolschool, has written a very interesting ebook.
It begins like this:

7 Lessons You Learned @ School That Could Possibly Ruin Your Life

How the public school system tried (successfully or not) to inhibit your development and seven simple remedies for your personal freedom. Read, reflect, discuss and take action – that ́s what it’s all about. To start a conversation with you and make some positive changes [...].

Read more here.
This some of the most revolutionary words I’ve seen in a long time. My exam objects tells me to do one thing, but I do another. I failed the test, but I’ve written something that matters, something out of order, something others call unrealistic, but it expanded what truth is.

Wearetheweb.org

Did you thought that “Weird Al” Yancovic was nerdy in “White and Nerdy”. You got it all wrong. Wearetheweb.org fights for net neutrality and Internet freedom, and I suggest that you do it too.

“We love the Internet”

A Net Neutrality Message for Everyone: We Are the Web
The issue of net neutrality is reaching a boiling point, and the results will affect every Internet user in the US. We Are the Web is here to raise awareness with the help of some of the web’s biggest names: Leslie Hall, The Tron Guy, and Peter Pan.
This is happening in Europe too!